Topic 8. Challenging the View

I. General

Practicum 8.1

Study the communication strategy of Challenging the View

Step1 Focus on those ideas of your opponent which you might share (see Topic 3. Supporting the View)
Step 2 Introduce contrasting arguments (support them with relevant evidence)
Step 3 Suggest another approach to the matter

Practicum 8.2

When practicing Challenging the View you may need the word combinations to follow. Try and explain what they mean

a real challenge, to challenge one’s view, challenging, challengeable, a challenger, to face / stand up to the challenge, mentally / horizontally / vertically / judgmentally / metabolically challenged

Practicum 8.3

Classify the vocabulary relating toChallenging the View strategy into 3 groups relating to the 3 steps of communication strategy (some stock phrases can refer to more than one step), e.g.:

Step 1 Step 2 Step 3
It does make sense On the other hand, I’m still doubtful as to What if we try another approach

I appreciate how you feel about

I share your concerns here

I’d like to add some new facts / remarks

I see why you feel this way

It might seem

I’d rather we did

I see what you mean, still / though

Basically it’s a good idea, but/ still

How about …?

There is one point I’d like to focus on / clear up

What if we try to look at the problem from another point (of view)?

If we look at the statistics

II. Challenging the View Practice

Practicum 8.4

Challenge the views to follow

1. Happiness is a short-term emotional state

2. Happiness can be taught

3. Combining a full-time job with raising a family is a workable solution

4. The biggest challenge women might face is finding a suitable match

5. Etiquette defines lifestyle

Practicum 8.5

Define the setting for Challenging the View. Studentsare assigned the roles to practice the strategy

Informal setting

A female discourages her male friend applying for a new job from leaving his current workplace in light of the global economic crisis

setting / target group / degree of familiarity(e.g. a couple having lived together for five years and planning a child)/ intentions

Semi-formal setting

Two female colleagues are considering a proper school for their children and have different priorities in mind (location vs. teaching standards)

setting / target group / degree of familiarity / intentions (e.g. to show your interest in your colleague’s concern and to persuade her to consider all arguments besides the territorial one)

Formal setting

CEO intends to spend the money meant for the year-end bonus on upgrading the office facilities

setting / target group (e.g. department heads at the board meeting) / degree of familiarity / intentions

Text 8a

The text to follow deals in a serious public concern. Study the text and use it as a starting point for communication in informal setting

So Could an Affair Save Your Marriage?

For one man, it was the family dog who gave the game away as it would wait on his neighbour's doorstep while he was inside conducting an affair. Unsurprisingly, it wasn't long before his wife became suspicious. For another wayward partner, it was the private smile that would creep across theadulterouswife's facefor no apparent reason that soon had her husband wondering. Both marriages dissolved shortly after the affairs were discovered. But according toJudith Brandt's controversial new book – The Fifty Mile Rule: Your Guide To Infidelity And Extramarital Etiquette – the marriages need not have ended. If the erring adulterers had followed Brandt's rules, they might not have been found out. Her book is the ultimate guide to how to have an affair, which provoked sharp criticism followed by a storm in the U.S. last month.

'I've been called everything from the anti-Christ to theembodiment of what's wrong with modern culture,' she says.

'But is an affair worse than separating yourself from the children, worse than losing 50 per cent of your income, worse than losing your home? 'An affair – which is the undiscovered affair – can sometimes even save a marriage – she said. It can put the spark back into your life, when otherwise you might think about leaving.

‘You’re stuck with a mortgage, maybe a child or two, and the awful realisation that you could probably be doing better in the love and romance department. What are you going to do? Within humans an instinctive tug towards infidelity. But I believe sometimes it is not so inherently immoral about seeking additional fulfillment outside marriage if it is going to benefit you to keep your marriage together, especially if you have children. It can be that treating yourself to a little extramarital R&R – or time out – can add spice to life.’

Convicted by the statistics she spent five years talking to other adulterers through the internet as research for the book. And now she considers herself to be an authority, possibly even a guru, for the wayward. 'If people are going to be doing it anyway, shouldn't someone be telling them to think twice and assess the risk they take she asks. 'The intention of the book is to be both a warning. It is to encourage people to look before they leap. 'An affair is a high-stakes gamble, and so often people make incredibly stupid choices that lead to disaster. ‘But what they should be saying is, let me understand what is going on here and let me make sure the actions I take are not guaranteed to destroy this other thing I’ve got going on, which may be more important in the long run.’

‘I try to give people some perspective. In fact, I look on this as a public service. People tend to look at affairs as a titanic new love, an infatuation, when in fact every relationship has a cycle. The infatuation fades. I’m trying to help people make sense of that, so they can put affairs in perspective and act appropriately – not risk their marriage by acting recklessly.’

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